Family news
Family Recipe Crisis Narrowly Avoided
Decades of survival had depended on one person remembering it.
The index
Things People Turn Out to Need
Every one of these began as somebody’s ordinary afternoon. The software underneath each of them is real, and mostly quite small.
Kitchens & families
Kitchen desk
Local Cook Finally Finds the Recipe
Beneath an autobiography, two advertisements and a video that had begun playing on its own.
Weddings
Wedding Gift Reported to Contain No Candles
The couple, who already own a bread maker, are said to have been visibly relieved.
Social news
Local Socialite’s Dinner Crisis Averted
Fifteen friends have been invited. Concern was first raised on Saturday afternoon.
Domestic news
Three Mushrooms and Half a Chicken Given New Purpose
The contents of one refrigerator were described as “not obviously a meal”.
Public notice
Family Asked to End Recipe Screenshot Campaign
The group chat is understood to contain eleven photographs of the same tray of flapjacks.
Long-running dispute
Lasagne Dispute Enters Third Generation
Family members remain unable to agree on whether the original contained wine.
Makers, cafés & shops
Local trade
Local Butcher Announces Sausage Support Service
Customers unsure what to do with six sausages and Wednesday evening have been offered assistance.
Trade notice
Hot Sauce Maker Suggests Putting It On Something
Following reports that several bottles were being admired rather than consumed, practical guidance has been issued.
Business news
Village Café Finally Gives Up the Scone Recipe
Years of polite enquiries appear to have taken their toll.
Farm & garden
Farm Shop Issues Emergency Courgette Advice
An unusually productive week has resulted in what staff are calling “a situation”.
Retirements
Baker Retires Box of Increasingly Tatty Recipe Cards
The cards had served faithfully beside the till since approximately 2019.
Growing food businesses
Trade news
Three Restaurants Finally Agree on Something
Staff at three branches of The Hungry Badger have reportedly begun using the same recipe collection.
Business intelligence
Local Food Company Discovers Where Its Recipe Traffic Comes From
Management had previously relied on a mixture of guesswork and asking Janet.
Products & brands
Product launch
Acme Inc Launches New Veggie Blitzer 9000
The company describes its latest appliance as “revolutionary”. Our illustration department was unable to establish precisely what it does.